Family Background

I thought I would start out by giving a little background on my family when I was a child. I was raised primarily by my mom. She was married three times. She married her first husband at a very young age, and had four children from that marriage. Her oldest was a boy, and then she had three girls. My mom got a divorce from her first husband after thirteen years of marriage. They were married in the Temple, and I know their divorce was really devastating for my siblings. Luckily, their Dad remained a big part of their lives after the divorce. My mom was single for a while before she met and married my biological father. They were married for about a year and a half. Just enough time to have little old me! My biological father emotionally and physically abused my mom, until she finally found the courage to leave with her five young children. I never met my biological father until I was six, and that was just for a short visit. (I think mainly a visit to try and get my mom to negotiate with him on lower child support. Which he didn't pay for at least 10 years, so I don't know why he bothered.) We never met again until I was twenty-one. Now, we have met twice and occasionally write letters or speak on the phone. I don't recall much from the first five years of my life. I remember a trip to the beach, I was probably two, standing in the ocean with my mom. She was singing a song about roller-coasters, and lifting me over the waves. I remember feeling so safe in her arms, even with the waves crashing in on me. I thought this was a dream for a long time, until my mom brought up the shared memory. I spent a lot of time with my mom's parents those first five years. My grandma and grandpa were such a source of light to me throughout my youth. Their home was my SAFE haven! I went there a lot on my siblings' weekends with their dad. I remember watching out the Arcadia door of our town house, as they would drive away to go their dad's house. I wanted a dad SO BADLY! My siblings would always get really cool gifts from their dad, and he would take them on trips all the time. They went boating and skiing, and I went to IHOP with grandma and grandpa. (Which I actually enjoyed very much! I'm a sucker for a Rooty-Tooty Fresh N Fruity!) My point is, I had some pretty bad Dad envy going on! My mom met and married my step-dad when I was five years old. He had been married once before, and had two sons from that marriage. My new step-dad had an interesting set of social skills, a dark sense of humor, and a temper that could be set off by a change in the weather. I thought he was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me! He was MY Daddy from the minute that he moved in. Unfortunately, he took advantage of my love and trust in the worst way possible. He began sexually abusing me when I was five, and the abuse went on for about six years after that.  When I was six we moved into a big, new house, and my mom announced that she was having another baby. My beautiful little sister, my step-dad's biological daughter, was born when I was seven. She was pretty much my EVERYTHING from that day on! We moved again when I entered the second grade. I changed to a new school that was built when I entered the fifth grade. I was VERY outgoing, and participated in chorus, drama, and band. I had a lot of great friends and some cousins that lived close by. I was pretty heartbroken when we moved about an hour away. I entered the eighth grade in a new school, and a new city. I made some friends in my ward at church during the summer, and I had a cousin who was in the same grade, so it wasn't too bad. We stayed in that house for a year. We lived there with a disabled woman that my mom took care of. After that ended on a sour note,(the lady never paid my mom for her services) we moved to a small patio home nearby. We rented that house for about a year, and then moved to another house nearby that my parents were looking to buy from a relative that owned it. I was able to stay in the same school district for the rest of my schooling, and made some wonderful friends. I dropped out of band in eighth grade, but continued to pursue singing and acting at school. I was also ACTING everywhere else in life, as well. Acting as though everything was fine, and using my favorite coping mechanism, humor. I laughed through life, so that no one would know how scared I was, not even me. I "dated" a lot in high school. (Which means I kissed a lot of guys.) I met my future husband my junior year in high school, but we didn't become friends until right before he left on his mission. I had a few jobs all through junior high and high school, and continued to work after I graduated. After graduation, I began a partying phase of my life that went on for a few years after high school. I still managed to hold a job, but I was quite the slacker at the community college that I "somewhat attended." My husband returned home from his mission in Feb. of 2002, and we were married in the Temple in April of 2003. My life began again! We had our son in 2006, and our daughter in 2008. My husband is the reason that I'm alive! I know I probably shouldn't say things like that, but he really helped lead me back into a life full of light! My mom is still married to my step-dad, and they own the same house that I lived in during high school. When I moved out, my step-dad moved into my old bedroom(he also installed the first lock that has ever been on that door), and my mom enjoys the privacy of her own master bedroom. My little sister lives there too, and she and her boyfriend are expecting their first baby soon. We live about 45 minutes away from my mom's house. My biological father lives about a half hour away, and we don't speak very often. My maternal grandma died from cancer in 2001, which was a huge blow to our whole family. My maternal grandpa lives about an hour and a half away, and is doing FANTASTIC! My husband's family is wonderful, and has adopted me right into their fold. My in-laws live 45 minutes away. They have five sons and 1 daughter, and have been married to EACH OTHER for more than 40 years! Don't know how I found such a normal husband! I'm a lucky gal fo sho, in that department! Anyway, there's some family background. I don't know if that complicates or clarifies, but at least you know the main players in MY Story! (I told you that I loved the Dramatic Arts!!) This was the easy part! I hope to post more really soon. I am going to tell my story first, and then I'll write what is on my mind as I hop back in the saddle of the mule known as.... THERAPY!! Giddy-up!